KA Do You feel Loved?
by Nijikawa Satori
Summary: Based on Hibari Kyoya's 'Hitoribocchi no Sadame' (songfic). English Lyrics in the end. Hibari x "girl" -It was all a coincidental meeting, when Hibari didn't know love or how to love probably because he never felt love before. "... find somebody else. Don't come any closer to me more than this, if you're persistent... I'll-"


**Based on Hibari Kyoya's "Hitoribocchi no Sadame" **

When Hibari Kyoya was little he was like your ordinary 5-year old boy. He was happy and smiled a lot. The only difference between him and the children around them was that he belonged in a rich family. Sure he was happy, when he was free from his family's strict rules which would be almost never.

"How do you expect to be the heir of the Hibari family if you keep on playing with those children and not study?!" shouted his father. Well, for Hibari, he couldn't really call him his father, more like, a demon who married the woman who gave birth to him. That's all.

Little Hibari flinched and was close to tears when he heard his father shout at him. He looked at his father with pleading eyes as a tear fell down on his face. Bad mistake.

His father hit him on his face "You do not show your tears ever! Tears are for the weak!" He shouted. Little Hibari could just stare at him with sad eyes and then tried to smile it off. Another bad mistake.

His father took Little Hibari by the arm and dragged him towards a room. "So are smiles Kyoya! I will not allow you to do such actions in this house if you are going to be the heir. I will have to discipline you." He threw Kyoya into a room and closed the door.

The servants could just hear screams and sobs from that room and didn't dare to come in. When the screams were gone and after a few more hours, his father came out of the room and so did Hibari, all bruised and you couldn't see a single emotion on his face or eyes.

* * *

When Hibari was ten, he started to attend parties and he didn't like it. Each and every moment, people would crowd and try to sweet talk him into giving their own companies money. He started to hate crowds after that.

Half a year later, he decided to learn self-defense. He learned quickly and decided to learn how to use tonfas after seeing them lying on the floor innocently when he walked around and about.

* * *

He grew stronger after 5 years, strong enough to take care of himself. He noticed that something else also grew inside of him, the desire to fight. Everything was enough for him, even the house he was living right now, which was large traditional Japanese house that was given to him by his father. He lived alone after getting the permission from his father for a long time to not be the heir but the other man's son who was in good terms with his father. He was finally free but his personality and idea of the world didn't change except for the entertainment of one's hurt.

* * *

**GIRL POV**

I first met Hibari Kyoya when I was in Namimori Middle School. It was a 'coincidental meeting', I happened to bump into him when I was bringing a box of supplies to the Reception Room, which was in fact, the Disciplinary Committee's room. I was afraid that he might bite me to death but surprisingly he didn't.

"What are you doing herbivore?" He glared at me and noticed the supplies that was scattered across the floor. He noticed that it was for the Disciplinary Committee and sighed as he knelt down and started to pick all of the stuff up. I helped him. I noticed that there was one more item so I picked it up and hesitantly handed it over to him.

He noticed my shaking hands and sighed as he took it and put it in the box. He then picked it up.

"Ah… no, I'll carry it." I said but he declined.

"No, I will carry it to our room; it is my responsibility for the whole Disciplinary Committee." He said.

"But the teacher told me to…" Before I could argue with him he interrupted me.

"Do you want to get bitten to death?" I shook my head. "Good… Now leave." He then left me to bring it back to his room.

* * *

I met him again during lunch. I approached him and bowed.

"Thank you so much for earlier!"

"Is that all?" He coldly said. I raised my head only to see his glaring face. I bowed again.

"Ah… I just wanted to know your name, that's all." I heard him smirk when I said that and I heard the students around us gulped.

"Hibari Kyoya… Are you satisfied now? Then get out of my sight if not you'll get hurt." He said coldy back to his poker face and as he put out his tonfas. I gulped and bowed for one last time and ran away smiling a bit.

**HIBARI'S POV**

I was walking the streets of Namimori alone again and stopped by at the park. I sat down on the bench and drank a sip of my soda that I just brought a while ago. I turned to see a couple holding hands and kissing. Tch. Such herbivores, doing that in public, I didn't care for the moment about them doing such inappropriate things in public.

"I love you." I heard the woman say. I saw her smile. Love huh? What a trivial thing.I turned my attention back to my soda until I heard the man's response…

"Sorry…" Then the woman left crying. Hmph… I hate to admit it but my father was right, smiles and tears are for herbivores only. The me right now is already enough. I am pleased as it is. When I turned to my other side, there I saw the girl I met earlier. She was staring at me with eyes full of pity and sadness. Heh. She must've seen through my thoughts.

I looked at her and she was startled. I whispered so that only we can hear "I'll live, don't hinder me."

**GIRL POV**

I saw Hibari-san sitting on the bench at the park one afternoon. He was, I believe, was observing the couple that broke up. He turned to his drink and was in deep thought. His eyes were serious as usual but I can see right through that. Was he sad? Frustrated or what? No, it was emptiness... He was hollow. I pitied him. He noticed me though and I panicked but he whispered so that only we can hear

"I'll live, don't hinder me." And then I left. That was probably the saddest thing I've ever heard.

* * *

The next few days…

"Hibari-san, can I sit with you?" I asked looked upon his sleeping face. I knew he was awake.

"No, you're bothering me, go away." He turned aside facing away from me as he yawned and a yellow bird sat to his side shouting "Hibari! Hibari!" Aww it was so cute. The little bird came up to me and poked the purple bento I had in my left hand. Ah! I almost forgot!

"Hibari-san?"

"What?" He asked with irritation in his voice. I flinched but I mustered up my courage to hand out the bento I made for him. He finally sat up and looked in my direction. I placed the purple lunchbox in front of the prefect and I said "Bento, I've never seen you eat, so I figured you must be hungry."

As if on cue, Hibari's stomach growled. I was about to chuckle until he glared at me, thus shutting me up. I took that as permission to eat with him. I was on my knees and opened my own bento and he opened his and saw the hamburger steaks. He seemed to like the food. After lunch, he gave the bento to me as we stood up and said "Make them again tomorrow."

I happily nodded and skipped to my class. Almost every day, I make him lunches and we spent our lunch in total silence. But it was comfortable silence. I began to think about why he looked so sad when he saw an example of what they call love. Then, has Hibari-san ever loved before? Those eyes from before tell me no. Does he even know love? No. How to love? No. Anything about love except for the love of biting people to death seemed to say no. But one question really got me…

Has Hibari-san ever felt loved?

**HIBARI'S POV**

She is so easy to understand. She pities me after she saw at the park that one day. Why do I have to accept pity from a herbivore like her? I appreciate the hamburgers though.

"It's time for class. Go." She stood up, took her bento and went down to her class. She'll get hurt if she still hung out with me. Am I bothered? Tch, I'll bite her to death.

It was nighttime and I was about to leave for home until I saw her again sitting in front of the gate shivering.

"What are you doing there?" I asked. She weakly brightened up after she saw me. She walked over to me, and said "Walk home together?"

"No…" I turned and walked away but that was right after I gave her my jacket, which she was dumbfounded by my actions. I smirked, that was an amusing sight to see. She followed me.

"Can I?"

"No, let me walk alone. You know I hate crowding people." I continued to walk. But in a faster pace than her. She struggled to keep up with me.

"Just this once and I promise not to bother you anymore…" She said in a weak voice. I didn't know why but suddenly, my throat ran dry. Have I grown attached to this herbivore? Tch, how herbivorous.

"Fine but I hate crowding people." I slowed down.

"Hehe. Ne, what do you think of me?" What's up with that sudden question? I then blurted out.

"A herbivore. Crowder. Annoying but tolerable than most." I then whispered my last part so that she wouldn't hear—"and a woman who even bothered to be with _me._" I turned to look at her and saw that she was pained but also as if she was expecting that.

"Ah… I see. Thanks… That's all I wanted to know." She said as she looked up in the night sky."Man, it's so cold." She added.

"Could you be quieter? And don't walk right next to me that close, I need some more private (secluded) space."

"Oh ok…" She moved more to her side and farther away from me, until I stopped. She looked at me with confused eyes. I coldly told her.

"This is your house. Give me my jacket back." She flinched and surprised. Didn't she notice that we were already at her house? What an herbivore. The girl hurriedly went inside her gate until I stopped her again. She turned around as if expecting something.

"Well? My jacket, herbivore. I'll bite you to death if you don't give it back." She then took the jacket off and I left her watching my back. I turned to a corner and stayed there for a bit. I heard a sob.

"So cold…"

**GIRL POV**

_"So cold…"_

That hurt. I was expecting that he wouldn't think of me as a woman, but rather, herbivore like the others. After all of that time we spent together, I'm still no different from the others. Anyways, what was I hoping for? Before I knew it I liked him. _Loved _him. But he didn't seem to feel it. I just continued to hang out with him and have 'conversations' with him from time to time.

I didn't really care about love at first but I've heard of it and knew of it but with Hibari-san I just can't explain; both his knowledge of love and how I feel of him. All I wanted was introduce Hibari-san to the world of love, not that I even know that world before Hibari-san. Was it that hard?

I never noticed the things I asked earlier. They were involuntary questions. I have to stop this. I have to tell him this soon even if it means breaking all ties with him. I hope that this one decision will make him feel that he is loved. Thinking what would happen brought a tear fall down my cheeks. I walked back to my house, only to see nobody greet me like usual after I shouted with my voice shaking and faltering by the second. "I'm home…"

**HIBARI POV**

"If I can live, I won't hinder you." I whispered as I quickly walked away, thinking about the herbivorous actions made from awhile ago. I finally got home, and said. "I'm home."

Sadly no one answered. It's been like this ever since I came here. I went into my room and fell to my bed. I placed my hand over my heart and because it felt it was broken. Feeling that my heart pulse is normal, I shrugged it off.

* * *

The next day, I was with her again at lunch. I stood up from my sleeping place expecting a bento at the same time, thinking about the said agreement between them that she won't bother me if I walked with her yesterday. But she's not bothering me, so I'll let it pass.

"Hibari-san…" she stuttered. I raised a brow. She was on her knees and was fidgeting. "What is it herbivore?"

"I…L-li…"

"Just spit it out or I'll bite you to death." I said with authority.

"I l-like you!" She finally said. I did not expect that. My heart suddenly jumped. From surprise, I assume. This is probably what they call confession. Hmph, so herbivorous. I bluntly answered her.

"I dislike people like you." She was about to cry but I continued. "Sorry." I never thought I would say sorry just like that. I would think that it was proper in this situation.

People like her always make my feelings get a little out of order. Why? It hurt when I, what they call 'rejected' her. That's why I dislike people like her. They make my feelings get out of order. Wait, since when did I have feelings?

She smiled at me as tears ran down her face. The next question surprised me more.

"Do you feel loved Hibari-san?" After a moment of thinking, I felt love. She loved me. I finally said.

"Yes. Thank you." I looked at her with soft eyes as she smiled again and left the rooftop down to the stairs. Faintly, I heard a sob.

I look up at the sky. I don't know love or even how to love. Hmph, this fate of being alone… Then her smiling and crying face appeared to me. Such weak actions, though I don't mind. My heart felt like it was stabbed so many times and I still didn't die. My feelings. I don't need them, my body and heart is okay like that. I turned to look at the door and said with no particular person there smiling at me "I'll go live, don't hinder me."

Please, find somebody else… Don't come closer to me any more than this. You'll get hurt. If you're persistent...

_...I'll bite you to death._

**END**

**So? My throat ran dry after writing this.I tried my best to keep Hibari in character and at the same time creating a 'nameless' character. It can actually be anyone you wish. These are the English lyrics of the song.**

_The coincidental meeting, to keep it precious_

_You, who is holding out the shaking hands_

_Satisfied now? Get out of my sight already_

_If not, you'll get hurt_

_Wow! I don't know love, I don't know how to love_

_The fate of being alone eternally_

_Wow! Smiles and tears are weaklings' actions_

_With my body as it is, with my heart as it pleases_

_I'll go live, and don't hinder me_

_._

_You're easy to be understood, always being frank_

_Still, you'll get hurt_

_Wow! What are you doing there? There's nothing to do_

_The road of walking alone anytime_

_Wow! You really can't be talked to, I really hate crowding people_

_Can't you be quiet, I need a more secluded place_

_If I can live, I won't hinder you_

_._

_I dislike people like you_

_It makes my feelings get a little out of order... why?_

_Wao! I don't know love, I don't know how to love_

_The fate of being alone eternally_

_Wao! Smiles and tears are weaklings' actions_

_With my body as it is, with my heart as it pleases_

_I'll go live, and don't hinder me_

_Don't come closer to me more than this_

_._

**_I'll bite you to death._**


End file.
